Reflections, Vol. 1

A brief list of reflections I’ve had/am having throughout the course of the year so far.

  • We constantly blame people for us being the way we are, but no one forced us to be this way. True, we as humans are influenced, but we have a choice. Unless its a difficult circumstance, such as a gun being held to the head, we are solely at fault for being the way we are — whether we like it or not.
  • Its psychologically proven that its easier for humans to adjust easier to more stimulation than less. Yet I can adjust to the quiet beach-country of Rhode Island just as easily as roaming the Manhattan streets. Yet if I had to chose where I’d rather be year round, the city would be my choice.
  • I was driving through the Putnam/Duchess/northern Fairfield county borders, and losing my patience with my unfamiliarity driving throughout the area. Its beautiful viewing the lakes as a passenger, but a bitch if you’re a driver from the city with the locals speeding up out of nowhere, yet always having the right away over you God forbid something goes wrong. And when your best friend does a *reverse Arminius you feel like the only urban girl upstate, all alone.

    “This is why I like the city better!” I yell in frustration. A mixture of confusion, miscommunication, and a bad case of PMS and the tension is over. Yet just by me blabbing that, everything makes sense; it all comes out. Upstate is pretty, beautiful even — but its just not for me. I don’t belong here; I’m meant for downtown.

  • Yet I don’t feel this distain towards all of upstate. I love New Paltz and Woodstock far better than Fishkill and Brewster. I haven’t yet driven in Woodstock, but I have in New Paltz; I find it much easier to navigate, and such a joy being so close to the mountains, historical sh*t, and walking onto the main road, seeing businesses named after Grateful Dead songs. I’d never live in Putnam/Duchess/Fairfield, even though there’s a kickass mall and not one, but two Chick-Fil-A’s, but I would consider Ulster one day, after I accomplish all of my goals. If only they had a train station leading south to my beloved citta…
  • When things go wrong with anyone, whether they be a friend, family member, partner, co-worker, etc., its hard getting an unbiased opinion with everyone taking your side. Even when we’re right, we’re so focused on getting out our part of the story as to “not look like a fool” that we overdramatize details and try to ruin the other person’s reputation. True, we’re in the moment and don’t see this as such, but we notice years later during one of our deep meditations.

    What was I thinking? They were bad, but not that bad! They weren’t bad at all, but I made them a whole lot worse!

    You reflect, thinking and feeling the emotions bottled up rise above the surface all at once. Should I reach out? Should I call? Perhaps I better ignore it; maybe they’re reach out to me. It’s good to have faith, great even, but God only helps those who help themselves. Don’t sit there on your ass doing nothing; do something. Unless divine action has yet to speak through, don’t waste time waiting; depending on our beliefs, we only have one life to live. Best to live it the way we want and stop settling for everything in life.

  • We worry so much about impressing other people, its a shame we don’t pay attention to impressing ourselves. One step at a time, one day closer; once you learn to let of fear, then you truly start living life for you and who, what, and where you truly love.
  • I’ve been practicing Law of Attraction for over three months now, and see two of my three main manifestations taking form; one is fully coming to fruition, the other is halfway there. And the last? Non so — I do not know. I know in my heart that it will happen one day, but why can’t one day be now? This is something I hoped and prayed for for years; I thought all hope was lost, and gave up for awhile before I learned about LoA and manifesting. Since then, I feel myself gaining more confidence and trusting in God and the universe, but I can’t fully “let go.” I can detatch from the situation at work or when I’m out, but it’s always the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last as I go to bed.

    Am I doing something wrong? I’m visualizing, meditating, scripting, everything; everything but taking action.

    Take action — something I expected to do on the receiving end, not giving. Take action — a message I’ve been receiving, but am struggling to accept; those who know me tell me to wait, while the worker in the store or the lady in the church say “no.” They don’t know who I am, my story, what I want/am in the process of, but they can see I need to act on it. I’m tired sitting around doing nothing — its time to take action. If only divine action would fully call… every time I get close, I back out. Its a habit I need to break myself of; that habit starts right now.

    To be continued…

    *reverse Arminius is a term I derived as someone who fully engulfs themselves in and adopts the attitudes and behaviors of their new surroundings. An example is someone who’s originally from a rural area in the South moving to Manhattan and has lost their Southern accent and mannerisms completely.

 

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The Power of Meditation & How It Saved Me From a Farce

Buon giorno, everyone! The past month was busy, from my vacation in Florida to preparing materials to enter into another writing contest, but its safe to say I’ll post again daily now. Don’t worry, I knocked on wood to ensure this happens.

One thing that I cultivated more in these past weeks is meditation. One of my best friends is huge on meditation, and her actually meditating on the beach while we were in Florida really inspired me. From enhancing the power of prayer to the energy within myself, I’ve been more in tune lately and am currently using law of attraction exercises to bring me my heart’s desires. It is and isn’t easy — getting into the zone is easier when you truly let go, yet truly letting go is the hard part. The reason why is because its good to use affirmations and visualize your manifestations, yet if you focus too much, it’ll cause friction since the emotions and desired outcome are too attached to one another. After trying a new technique last night, and taking action with the last contest I entered in so far in terms of manifesting my career and lifestyle goals, I’m ready to fully let go and let go. I did let go and let God, and eagerly wait the desired outcome while surrendering my will to the higher power of the universe.

Speaking of God, the universe, or whatever you wish to call it (I use both interchangeably, along with Jesus, Mary, and specific saints since I identify as an open-minded Catholic and call for ancestors on occasion, too), its amazing how the higher power is always looking out for us. The first time I felt the strength and didn’t know it, I was driving and felt something have me take force of my steering wheel and go into the other lane without hesitation. I realized why five minutes later when the car in the other lane nearly collided with the one behind me, who was now parallel to them. The moment of awe, wonder, and “thank you, God” set in as I made it safely to class three years ago. Someone was watching over me and ensured my safety while on the road.

That same moment came to me five nights ago, but I wasn’t on the road traveling; I was in my own house. After a long day of working hard on my General Hospital spec script to submit to the Disney/ABC Writing Program and attempted realization in between, I finally took at break. It was after 10:00 pm, and I went to browse my phone when I noticed I had a missed call. I clicked and saw that 1.) the call was actually from the night before at 12:38 am and 2.) it was a number I didn’t recognize, yet it had my county’s area code. When this happens, its usually a telemarketer or a recruiter. Why a recruiter would call someone after midnight I don’t know, but I have had them message me at 1 am before, and always for, pardon my tongue, bull shit jobs that its obvious I don’t want since I put specifically on my requests “no sales position inquiries.” So I Google the number, as I always do when I receive a call from one I don’t recognize, and I was in shock by what popped up — it was the home number of someone who screwed me over in the past. Her parents’ info came right up; I was shook.

Out of respect, I won’t provide any details other than this person was a horrible friend and was my then-boyfriend’s mistress for the last 10 months of our relationship before I left for the final time and she officially replaced me. My mind might sound biased, but even before all that happened, I knew in my gut she was a bad person because of the things she’d say and do to people. However, I like to see the best in people and hoped it wasn’t true. It took all that plus her throwing her sins onto me and getting people to believe them to fully rip my eyes open. As one of my friends who has an amazing sixth sense said upon meeting her one time, this person is “soulless,” giving off nothing but the worst aura imaginable. That’s why God had me miss that phone call — to protect me from whatever mind games she wanted to play, despite the fact that five years came and went, and she got exactly what she wanted. The last time she bothered me four years ago, and she did it very sneaky since she makes people snap at her and pretends to be the victim, I fell right into her trap and the outcome was not good. I don’t know why she’d call me, but I do know she used that number because she knows I wouldn’t answer if she did on her cell phone. Yet her outcome of causing a farce was not achieved; mine of meditating that night and working hard the following day was, and I didn’t even notice her sad attempt until later.

How did I handle it? Through wisdom — the wisdom I acquired and continue to over the years guided me to block the number to ensure it would never happen again. This is a far cry from the girl I was years ago, who would’ve fallen into the trap of calling back and getting all worked up. As much as I would’ve loved to finally have told her like it is, its not worth it. Her energy is so dark and negative that it would cause nothing but pain, pain I left behind so long ago. I don’t wish her well, and I don’t wish her luck; I forgive her for stealing my life years ago and hope karma does her the justice she deserves, if it hasn’t already.

After blocking the number, I got on my knees and thanked God. I haven’t gotten what I want just yet, but I did prevent myself from dealing with something, someone, that was nothing but wrong. Never underestimated God, the universe, whatever you want to call your deity’s power; True Light only wants what’s best for you.

Have a blessed day and nothing but peaceful energy and vibes 🙂 !

via Daily Prompt: Farce