Some News

Exactly 1 year, 3 months, and 3 days to the day from graduating, I finally got an offer for a full-time job. I’m still working at my alma mata, but in a different department and in the Financial District of New York City. It’s a lot of writing (including interviewing!), which is right up my alley, and also database and repository system maintenance, which is what I do in my current position and started in my previous ones from when I was a student worker. Words alone cannot describe how grateful and wonderful I feel inside. Like yes, finalmente, I did it!

I start the life of a city commuter, something some have warned me about but I always dreamed of, after Labor Day. I also gave my notice to my bosses after finding out; its a bittersweet feeling. While I’m happy to at last go full-time and begin my career writing and downtown, I’ll miss everyone in the Westchester office and working in HR. I literally grew up in this department, starting off as a doe-eyed student transforming into the successful woman I am today. Plus its been an amazing, positive, and inspiring environment, both in Briarcliff and Valhalla. Lucky for myself and my co-workers, we’ll still be in touch, both as I transition into this full-time role and become benefits eligible (you bet I’m going back to school to get my master’s as soon as I can!) and as we become/remain “cubicle mates,” since some of my co-workers also commute into the city on certain days (and some are there full-time), and the HR area is right next to all the Alumni Relations departments.

For the next two weeks, I’m continuing my normal work, and also getting together as much information as I can for my successor. I’ll also begin cleaning up, which is funny how I’m downsizing for my moving into a new home and now also moving into a new job, and enjoying the last few Mondays I have off.

Remember, it’s not the end — its only the beginning.

Tanto monta, Monta Tanto: The Search for the “Perfect” Partner

Once upon a time, I shared my life with someone, a man who captivated my heart and mind, yet had some demons which ultimately tore us apart, that mixed in with the both of us being very young, naïve, and immature. Nearly five years later, and I have yet to enter into another relationship, but dated around. My experiences with men in my 23 years are like young person’s– mixed. Men are like children and dogs; you’re never find the same one again. You might find bits and pieces of him in others, whether in physicality, mannerisms, or personal interests, but this is not Vertigo; you’re not going to find an exact doppelgänger of “the one who got away” waltzing down the street, and if you do its certainly not good nor wise for them or your mental and emotional health to change them into a replica.

So what must we do failed date after failed date, relationship after relationship, time after time? First and foremost, we must focus on one person, the only one who matters most — yourself. As RuPaul says at the end of each episode of Drag Race, “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love anybody else.” So self love is a key. Do things on your own — go shopping, swimming, hiking, treat yourself to a tempting lunch, breakfast, dinner, dessert, or all four. Go out, live free, have fun. Learn to have fun by yourself and get to know yourself again.

No what? You practice self love, to your own self you’re true, what’s next? You need to narrow down exactly what you want in a partner — physically, personally, emotionally, mentally, etc. Don’t force a relationship with someone who merely gives you attention or because you don’t want to be “rude” to the family and friends who’re trying to set you up with someone. If you’re not physically and/or emotionally attracted to someone now, you’ll never be. You’re forcing the horse to drink the water until he pukes it all out. Let them down the right away, until they don’t get it or don’t give up; then “ghost” them, by “ghost” I mean ignore, delete, and block them so they can’t reach you again. Trust me, dealing with an annoying “gentlemen caller” a couple of times a year at parties is much better than him always being the first person to like your stuff when your heart doesn’t belong to him — especially if your heart belongs to someone else.

Speaking of someone else, who is that guy? He’s your soulmate, your romantic soulmate because, let’s face it, there are so many soulmates we have in life, but also your equal/missing half, yet realize that you are and always were whole, you just had yet to realize it. So what are you looking for? You’re “tanto, monta, monta, tanto.” This phrase means, “They amount to the same,” or “opposites in balance,” the alleged motto of Isabel I of Castile and Fernando II of Aragon during their marriage. This showed that they were equal rulers in their own rights, and both reigned over their inherited kingdom and served as consort to the other’s, respectively. Therefore, you want someone who’s a ruler, a leader, but won’t force your hand. A man who is as attractive on the inside as he is on the outer fields. This person motivates you, and gets inspired themselves. You two complement one another like berries and cream or salt and vinegar; whether you’re exactly alike or opposite or a combination of both in common interests, its your passion, charimas, love, and motivation that inspire one another. And that, therefore, is what we must find — tanto monta, monta tanto.  Only through this can we find a partner who’s “perfect,” because remember darling, there is no such thing as perfection, it is merely an illusion created my mankind. The only thing that’s perfect is God, the rest is just how good we can be and get, and notice that everyone, and everything, is you, yourself, pushed out.

Have a blessed weekend! 🙂

Image via the second season of Isabel, TVE, 2013
via Daily Prompt: Partner

Fort Lauderdale 2017

My best friend Lauren and I went to south Florida for vacation a month ago. While staying in Fort Lauderdale, we dazzled in exploring the city along with Hollywood, Miami Beach, and South Beach. This photo was taken on her iPhone7 at Fort Lauderdale Beach via the Sunrise Blvd. entrance.

via Photo Challenge: Friend

How to Make a Great First Impression

Whether its for a job interview, going on a date, girls’ night, family/friend gathering, or meeting the parents of your S.O., chances are you want to look good and make a good impression, especially if you’re making someone/certain people for the first time or in a long time. Here are a few quick tips to look and feel great, and make those you interact with feel awesome around you, too!


5.) Dress well.

Make sure to dress for the part. For example, if you’re going on a job interview, keep it business attire or business causal, depending on the atmosphere of the company you’re interviewing at. If its a date, be dressy, yet causal. You want to look nice, but not show up in a ballgown. Same rule applies for making the parents for the first time, along with going to a gathering. You want to be comfortable, but you can’t show up and make a good first impression in pajamas — wait till they know you well before you do that!

 

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4.) Use an appropriate amount of accessories.

Accessorizing can enrich or devalue a look; makes sure you never do the latter. We might love our 200+ bracelets on each arm, but it might be too much when we meet someone for the first time. Downside to a good 1-3 that you like the most and take it from there. Top that with one pair of earrings, one necklace, and an optional ring. Congratulations! You’re officially on the road for being dressed to success 🙂

 

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3) Be polite.

This is very important. Of course you’re going to be nice at an interview or on a date. Yet let’s say you meet the parents, and one of them doesn’t like you. What if you’re at a party, and some of the new people you meet happen to be not so nice. What if your date goes wrong and you’re stuck with a doof. Two words, dearies — don’t panic. Don’t be fake, but don’t be overly nice either — be polite. It shows you’re capable and mature, setting an example for anyone who might be watching. When it’s over, you never have to see some of the people again (you’re done with that date for good) or maybe on occasion. Even so, you’ve mastered the art of remaining calm, and that’s much better than giving into anger and negativity.

 

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2.) Kickstart some awesome convos.

Some people love to initiate discussions; others would rather curl up in a corner and be totally cool with that. However, making a good impression requires you to sometimes jump into, or step out, of your comfort zone. Engage in conversation. Be a beacon of positivity and light. Impress your interviewer by describing your dream of working at the company and mention their background when they ask you why you want to work there. It shows your passion and that you did your homework before coming there. Compliment your S.O.’s mother on that beautiful scarf. Someone at the party say they have an aunt in Rhode Island? Your aunt lives there, too, try mentioning that. You’d be surprised how much we all have in common with one another. This is a guaranteed way to success. And if you don’t get the job or didn’t impress Mama 100%? Doesn’t matter — you put yourself out there, and that’s something a lot of people aren’t capable of.

Which brings us to numero uno…

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1.) Be yourself.

The easiest step of them all. Just be you — don’t try to be someone or something you’re not. A pure heart attracts pure results — simple as that. A lot of people never have the courage to do this, and mask themselves with other people since they don’t know who they truly are. You’re above and beyond this, and it will lead you very far in life. Who knows, maybe it’ll bring you and your date closer together, they might be your true love, or it could show the person interviewing you “we need someone as great as this to work here.” Simple, said, done — just be you, and the world is yours.

via Daily Prompt: Impression

The Qualm was there…

…from the beginning. When I saw

you sitting there. Peacefully plotting

my downfall…as your mousy demeanor hid

the ugliness that lie beneath such a plain

face…

 

That Qualm remained as I knew the girl

behind the face — every bit as dull inside as

was the exterior…yet this dullness held a

darkness, so black and cold like no one I

ever knew…she could be sweet, a best

friend one minute, before stabbing you in

the back after two…

 

The Qualm was there…yet I still felt bad…you

were the replacement for something, someone

whom I once had…yet I cared for you, though you

no longer deserved it…I kept you in my life, called

you “friend,” though you soured my image, putting my

face to your ugliness…you’re an amazing actress…no

surprise to whom they believed…yet I felt bad and

still defended you…

 

That Qualm took hold of my mind when you

ripped the love out of my heart…you knew he was

mine for years, right from the start…no poetic words

to hide…you stole my boyfriend…like a thief in the

night, only you were never his. I was. I still

am, though I surrendered the white flag long ago,

even before that, you declared your illicit

affair “romantic”…Jezebel! You took my place before I

even left. Bravo, Madame de Poitiers. Nice work, Anne

Boleyn — going from side chick to his, though your

replacement will come one day, just you wait. Perhaps

she already has…

 

The Qualm was there, that qualm ignored. My lesson

was learnt, now I do as the mind and heart as one are

taught. I listen to my instinct, that way again I shall never

be…led astray and destroyed by another evil, soulless thing.

  • Julia St. Clair©2017

 

via Daily Prompt

 

Pursuing the Self: May 2017 Update

Its no secret I’m not like most young people, especially women, out there. Like all of us, I’m uniquely me, and there’s nothing or no one who can change that. I used to think that was a bad thing growing up in a cliquey environment in my grade school neighborhood, and was constantly escaping who I was because I was convinced it was “stupid.” It took until 2014 for me to realize being myself wasn’t bad, and I finally felt fully comfortable in my own skin with my life, goals, passion, etc. last year in 2016. It started small, with hosting restaurant patrons and highlighting my hair to reflect the humble bombshell I usually was on the inside on the exterior.

The pursuit of myself has led me to a lot of realizations. One, for example, is that I have been dating despite not being in a relationship for nearly 5 years. Dating can meet two things — one, the most popular, is being in a romantic relationship with an individual and the other means taking means to pursue a relationship. This includes talking, texting, going on dates, etc. Despite having only one long term boyfriend, I’ve dated many guys — and it took me years to realize this. Another thing that confuses us is that modern dating occurs mainly through texting as opposed to the old fashion way of talking on the phone and constantly meeting up. The meet ups are sparse, and its easy to lose touch with someone if both parties aren’t interested. This leads me to my next point — what I want in a man. I’ve grown a lot in years, but I will not apologize for being vain and wanting a guy who, to me, is good looking. As an old friend once told me, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and I can’t be attracted to someone if they’re not physically appealing. That’s number one part one; numero uno parte due is their personality. Say what you will about my ex. He was a complicated man, but he knew how to enter into a room and make people laugh. Its the charisma and charm he once had that I crave for in a partner, along with good looks. I’ve dated men who were good looking and that was it; I dropped them like hot tamales because, as the opposite of a famous Disney tune, there was nothing there. And one thing that makes me special and different than most people is that I don’t waste my time when I see no future ahead; rather than force someone just so I won’t be alone, I’d rather be alone, or as I now see it, happy in solitude while I wait for something better. And believe me, I can wait.

Speaking of waiting, the thing that’s hardest waiting on is when my career can finally start. Being an aspiring writer, its not an easy industry to break into. I once was told, “if you want to be a writer, you might as well be an actor; you have an easier chance making it there.” Anyone who knows the industry can feel the sucker punch I felt in my gut upon hearing that. Even more insulting? I’m also pursuing acting, too. It’ll be a year since I graduated on Saturday, and its hitting me that I don’t have a full-time job, or any job for that matter, in my field: the film and television industry. I gotta admit, it had me really down and upset yesterday. I may be young, but I have an odd soul and mature heart and want my big break now. Keeping this in mind, I stopped, paused, and meditated. Despite not being where I want to be, I am where I am now. I’m grateful to have a job, even though I’m part-time, and the ability to take advantage of learning more about the respective HR fields and also pursue acting and writing in my spare time. I entered numerous writing contests and fellowships, including several with major TV networks, such as CBS, NBC, HBO, and WB. My final one, which I’m sending to ABC, will be sent out in a week to two at the latest, and then I feel like I can breathe. I finally wrote a whole screenplay and submitted it to the Nicholls’s Fellowship, and know in my heart that in itself is something to be proud of. I’m a lot farther than I originally thought.

What sets me apart from people my age is they apply to 5 jobs and give up. They lose the person they love most and settle for the next one that comes along, forcing themselves to “love” them, when in reality they’re using them as a clutch, a replacement so they don’t have to physically be alone. I’m not like that; I don’t waste my time and I never give up. I have a beautiful figure, which I’ve enhanced since I started working out and began being healthier than I once was back in February, which is matched by a beautiful heart; I know who I am, what I want, and what’s going on. I’ll listen to my prayers and meditation. I’ll keep attempting my law of attraction exercises and never give up. Yet I’ll let go, live life being the kind hearted dreamer I am, praying and trusting that God and the universe will give back to me what I so long desire.
via Daily Prompt: Pursue

Temporary

This is all but temporary — the fame

you seek will overcome the pain

making you meek.  The love you

lost years ago will creep up again, on

the train, the phone, perhaps on your

own front lawn.  The burden of cash

will transform into treasure, horrendous

balances metamorphisized into never

ending or perhaps just more than enough to

help you squeak by, get out of that hellhole, have

life be on your side. Fret not, my friend, this is only

temporary.   Dry invisible tears from barren eyes, alter

your course to be merry…