Reflections, Vol. 1

A brief list of reflections I’ve had/am having throughout the course of the year so far.

  • We constantly blame people for us being the way we are, but no one forced us to be this way. True, we as humans are influenced, but we have a choice. Unless its a difficult circumstance, such as a gun being held to the head, we are solely at fault for being the way we are — whether we like it or not.
  • Its psychologically proven that its easier for humans to adjust easier to more stimulation than less. Yet I can adjust to the quiet beach-country of Rhode Island just as easily as roaming the Manhattan streets. Yet if I had to chose where I’d rather be year round, the city would be my choice.
  • I was driving through the Putnam/Duchess/northern Fairfield county borders, and losing my patience with my unfamiliarity driving throughout the area. Its beautiful viewing the lakes as a passenger, but a bitch if you’re a driver from the city with the locals speeding up out of nowhere, yet always having the right away over you God forbid something goes wrong. And when your best friend does a *reverse Arminius you feel like the only urban girl upstate, all alone.

    “This is why I like the city better!” I yell in frustration. A mixture of confusion, miscommunication, and a bad case of PMS and the tension is over. Yet just by me blabbing that, everything makes sense; it all comes out. Upstate is pretty, beautiful even — but its just not for me. I don’t belong here; I’m meant for downtown.

  • Yet I don’t feel this distain towards all of upstate. I love New Paltz and Woodstock far better than Fishkill and Brewster. I haven’t yet driven in Woodstock, but I have in New Paltz; I find it much easier to navigate, and such a joy being so close to the mountains, historical sh*t, and walking onto the main road, seeing businesses named after Grateful Dead songs. I’d never live in Putnam/Duchess/Fairfield, even though there’s a kickass mall and not one, but two Chick-Fil-A’s, but I would consider Ulster one day, after I accomplish all of my goals. If only they had a train station leading south to my beloved citta…
  • When things go wrong with anyone, whether they be a friend, family member, partner, co-worker, etc., its hard getting an unbiased opinion with everyone taking your side. Even when we’re right, we’re so focused on getting out our part of the story as to “not look like a fool” that we overdramatize details and try to ruin the other person’s reputation. True, we’re in the moment and don’t see this as such, but we notice years later during one of our deep meditations.

    What was I thinking? They were bad, but not that bad! They weren’t bad at all, but I made them a whole lot worse!

    You reflect, thinking and feeling the emotions bottled up rise above the surface all at once. Should I reach out? Should I call? Perhaps I better ignore it; maybe they’re reach out to me. It’s good to have faith, great even, but God only helps those who help themselves. Don’t sit there on your ass doing nothing; do something. Unless divine action has yet to speak through, don’t waste time waiting; depending on our beliefs, we only have one life to live. Best to live it the way we want and stop settling for everything in life.

  • We worry so much about impressing other people, its a shame we don’t pay attention to impressing ourselves. One step at a time, one day closer; once you learn to let of fear, then you truly start living life for you and who, what, and where you truly love.
  • I’ve been practicing Law of Attraction for over three months now, and see two of my three main manifestations taking form; one is fully coming to fruition, the other is halfway there. And the last? Non so — I do not know. I know in my heart that it will happen one day, but why can’t one day be now? This is something I hoped and prayed for for years; I thought all hope was lost, and gave up for awhile before I learned about LoA and manifesting. Since then, I feel myself gaining more confidence and trusting in God and the universe, but I can’t fully “let go.” I can detatch from the situation at work or when I’m out, but it’s always the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last as I go to bed.

    Am I doing something wrong? I’m visualizing, meditating, scripting, everything; everything but taking action.

    Take action — something I expected to do on the receiving end, not giving. Take action — a message I’ve been receiving, but am struggling to accept; those who know me tell me to wait, while the worker in the store or the lady in the church say “no.” They don’t know who I am, my story, what I want/am in the process of, but they can see I need to act on it. I’m tired sitting around doing nothing — its time to take action. If only divine action would fully call… every time I get close, I back out. Its a habit I need to break myself of; that habit starts right now.

    To be continued…

    *reverse Arminius is a term I derived as someone who fully engulfs themselves in and adopts the attitudes and behaviors of their new surroundings. An example is someone who’s originally from a rural area in the South moving to Manhattan and has lost their Southern accent and mannerisms completely.


Thought for the Day

Be both willing and receptive to unexpected blessings. Cheer up, there’s good fortune smiling down upon you!
– JST.C, 8/9/2017, 12:20PM EST


Thought for the Day

Be grateful and appreciate the present and being in the now.

  • JST.C, 7/26/2017, 3:24PM EST

Always Have Hope

“Where there is life, there is hope.”

  • Stephen Hawking

Life is like a wheel — we get praised, we get torn. Opportunities arise, existing or possible ventures fail. People are born, and people die — but not just people — also ideas, relationships, cycles, etc. No one is blessed more than the other, and no one is damned or cursed — this is life, and everyone has to deal with it.

I’m a positive person — I always look on the bright side of things, and try my best not to complain. I never used to be like this, my former motto being “expect the best, but prepare for the worse,” and never being appreciate or thankful for the opportunities and blessings that came my way. Since becoming more spiritual about a year ago and using the law of attraction during these past few months, that view shifted, and all for the good. However, having a positive outlook on things doesn’t shield anyone from the bad times. Its like taking the subway in Manhattan if you live or work there — we all go through it, whether its liked or not. Therefore, being positive doesn’t shield us when fortune’s wheel takes us low; but it does change the outcome.

I’ve been attempting to manifest three things, and I won’t reveal two out of the three on here since they’re highly sensitive and personal. But the one I do talk about a lot is my career one — to begin working in a writing position and/or/eventually in the television, film, and/or publishing industries in Manhattan full-time. Things are coming to fruition — I had an official interview the other day, and two informationals. While I’m both happy and grateful, I learned a lot during the informationals that has me thinking about my priorities. Despite being part-time, my job is very flexible. I work in a wonderful environment with great people and an easy commute. I never realized how blessed I am until recently, and as ready as I am to make a shift, I’m finally realizing how much I have to be grateful for right now.

It has me calm in the midst of a setback with Manifestation #1, which I can’t reveal, but will say things were in fruition; not in the process of, they were going, in fact moving sooner than I expected. And then yesterday, during a really good day, I discover that, “kaboom! — there goes the dynamite!.” Its a two part process, and the two parts were in sync; one is kaput, the other in limbo. While still heartbroken, I can remain optimistic and hopeful, trusting in God’s plan that things happen for a reason, and something better is coming. Yet my family does not. My family looks at the negative in every point and event in life. They view us as predestined as cursed, blaming karma for our misfortune. Yet my family are blinded to the fact that we are good people who did nothing to deserve it; it would truly be karma if we did something wrong. Therefore, they view me as an outcast for being in a positive state of mind, and I can’t blame them; I refuse to knock myself down, and know I am in the right. However, most people in our world shares my family’s attitude of when things go wrong — we’re trapped! we’re predestined! we’re cursed! there is no hope. there is no god. Because they keep themselves in this mind frame, they close themselves off from all the blessings that are waiting to happen. I tried to help them see the light many a times, but its no use; I’m not giving up on myself, but I’m distancing myself from negativity. Its not that God doesn’t exist; He does — God is real, and God only helps those who helps themselves.

Number 3 is a different story altogether — I felt it coming, but couldn’t let go. Now I let go — and God can do with it whatever he wants. I won’t be heartbroken if it doesn’t happen anymore, and am trusting solely and firming in God. Que sara, sara — whatever will be, will be. There is a time and there is a season for every purpose in heaven. Perhaps the time and purpose is not now, but shall be later on. Perhaps now — perhaps never. Perhaps its another pointer I used to hate considering. Either way, I let go, and I trust God and the universe to do with it what they will. Everything works out in the long run — even if it takes awhile for us to see. As long as we have hope and are with God, then nothing or no one can come against us, no matter how good or bad a situation is or may become.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion. - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

Positivity & Light: A Lesson in Peace

Buona giornata a tutti! The past week’s been very busy, bringing many points to light as the changes keep piling on. One thing that drives us all a little “insane” is the anxiety and anticipation towards what we’re trying to manifest. Whether it’s a phone call, job, home, even just for that restaurant you can never get a table at to take you just once, we can get caught up in the thought and visualizing so much that we have no inner peace. Hens, it delays the process from moving forward because, while we’re open, but constantly thinking and worrying, we’re blocked.

On Sunday, I watched Doreen Virtue’s weekly video and a lot of her words and messages for the week spoke to me, especially one in particular. That one pertained to constant worrying about something. While we master our lives, God (or the universe, depending on your beliefs) gives us what we need 1.) when we need it and 2.) at the right place and time. Therefore, the constant thinking throws us off course and off alignment. After taking this in, I realized that we all need to focus on an important virtue we use for everyone but ourselves — peace. Give your worries up to God/the universe, meditate, and move on. Go about your daily life without obsessing over the future; by living in the moment, we trying are open, willing, and ready for what’s here and what’s to come. Not to say that you’re not allowed to think about what you want, just don’t let it consume your mind. After all, even the best rock stars need a rest between albums and sets now and then. Have a blessed day and remember to always focus on the positive and embrace the beauty in being free!

Wednesday, June 14th

He conquers who endures. - Persius

This was actually the quote of the day (QOTD) two days ago on BrainyQuote, but I decided to make it today’s on here. I decided to get less personal online and only tell stories in relation to a post/point, but very modestly, but will say I’m going through a lot right now. Its change, all good, but still change. However, I will not give up and, as Dory says, “just keep swimming,” for I know in my heart that everything will work out in the end. Have a great day! 🙂

Positivity & Light: Welcome June!

Buon giorno tutti, e felice prima di giugno! That’s “good morning everyone, and happy June 1st!” in Italian. Today is the start of a brand new month, one that I feel nothing but happiness and positive vibes about. Historically, June has always been a prime month in my life where many chances occurred. From graduating junior high (I graduated high school and college in May), to losing my grandparents within exactly a year and two weeks of each other (my grandmother ascended three days before her birthday), realizing my love for la citta just as I left Rome and recovered my repressed love for the city in general (ti amo, Manhattan) to going to concerts, being a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding, taking finals and regents, even starting a new job, many of life’s large journeys crossed their paths during this time of the year, and I’m on high alert — but in a good way. Therefore, I want to spread the joy and positive energy out there for anything and everything that is to come.

It’s also the month of St. Anthony, the patron saint of miracles and lost things in Catholicism. Whether you’re skeptical or not, this saint has done the impossible for myself and my friends for God knows how long. From helping my great-grandmother during a dangerous childbirth with my grandfather, finding my cousin’s now-husband, and helping me in various aspects of my life, it’s no surprise as to why he’s my favorite saint and beloved intercessor. His feast day is June 13th, a day that is not to be feared because of the modern legend of the number, but to be celebrated and multiplied with positive intent, energy, healing, and love.

Here’s a short *prayer to get the month started and lift your spirits up. May happiness and love fill your heart, and, as the Grateful Dead said, “once in a while you get shone the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.” Avere un giungo Benedetto!

Caro Dio — Dear Lord,

As we enter this sacred month, help me to remain calm and

be fruitful in all that I do. Help me and assist me, Dear Lord, in

fulfilling my goals and finally obtaining– and regaining– my

heart’s true desires. Let my mind be not troubled, but ever

growing and glowing in grace, knowledge, wisdom, and love. And

thank you, God, thank you, Jesus, thank you, Holy Spirit, thank you,

Blessed Virgin Mary, and thank you, St. Anthony, patron saint

of miracles and returning lost people and items–and all the angels and saints and

ancestors hearing me–for all that has been given and the even

better things that are to come. And so it is– amen.

*this prayer is open to all regardless of religion or faith. Names can be switched out or changed to the participant’s liking.


Spin Straw into Gold: How to Gain and Use Positive Vibes in a Negative Situation

Seven years ago, I engaged in a late night conversation with someone I used to be close to about negative experiences in life. We both went through a lot in our then- 14 and 17 years, and I told him my then-motto, “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” “Huh?” he responded. I explained that I always have hope, but nothing ever turns out right in the end, so its good to keep both options open. “That’s no way to live through life, he responded.” I nodded and the discussion went on.

Years later I think back to this conversation, and notice how everything’s changed — literally nothing is the same as it once was, in both good and bad ways. However, my way of thinking expanded so much, that I’m nothing like how to I used to feel, think, and feel because I didn’t really know myself. Now that I basically had to go through hell to get to paradise, I know now that this person was absolutely right — having a catch 22 standard on life is no way to go through it. Yet it is inevitable that bad things happen to us all; even the nicest people in life get put through the ringer at one point or another, and its tough. Its one of those grey areas in religion, philosophy, and science that might not ever make sense. However, while there are some things that we human beings cannot control, we can change the outcome simply by using our heads.

Everyone knows the story of Rumpelstiltskin and how he helped the maiden spin straw into gold. What if I told you that you could do this with anything negative that has happened in your life? Even some of the darkest things you think you can never conquer or forgive. While we all have free will and the freedom to choose, I highly recommend using some of these tips and techniques for turning your negative experiences into positive ones.

3.) Realize the opportunities presented.

When I broke up with my ex both times, it felt like my world came crashing down and was utterly destroyed. It took years to get over the pain and devastation from losing this person, who was not only my long-term boyfriend, but my best friend, too. Yet the fact of the matter is I couldn’t help but realize afterwards I realized, “wait! I have time for myself again!” I went out with my friends, took my sweet ass time getting tasks and errands done, shopped for myself, etc. I could also do and wear things he wasn’t too keen on. See what I did there — I spun it around to myself, but in a positive matter.

What can you do? Your kid started school, they went away to school, you got dumped, you did the dumping, you lost your job, car, blow dryer, etc. You have what you see as loneliness, but that loneliness has the potential to be transformed into solitude. Go for a walk or hike. Read a book. Rock that treadmill at the gym like never before. Better yet, do things that you love and enjoy yourself. Learn to enjoy being alone and treating yourself. Your time is now — so go for it.

2.) Take the higher route

There’s a lyric from the Grateful Dead song “Scarlet Begonias” that I love — “once in a while you get shone the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.” One thing that I’m been reading about with the law of attraction is that obstacles come upon us when we’re manifesting what we want. I see them as proof of this lyric, little “tests” from the universe, our responses showing how much we have or have yet to grow(n).

About a few weeks ago, I was tested, and I wrote about the outcome here. Since then, I got another test, since that person is online again and I saw was stalking my Facebook. What did I do? I blocked them — I don’t need that kind of negative energy in my life, the disguise of “goodness” does not change anything. However–unlike the phone call–I only told two people about this — my two best friends. By the way, they’ve never met yet (I had them talk once on the phone and we’re planning on all getting together sometime this summer) and both have somewhat of a sixth sense — they had the same gut instinct on why this person tried to contact me and was viewing my page, and, yes, it correlates with that Grateful Dead lyric. This made me even happier than I didn’t give in to anger or negativity, simply blocking the person and moving on. And yes, I thanked God, too, since I would’ve fallen into the trap without the knowledge I have now if this were years prior.

So what’s the moral here — take the higher route and be the bigger person. Don’t let it ruin your day. There’s another saying that “when you find humor in a difficult situation, you win.” Unleash that funny bone! For me, it’d be the situation discussed above would be like Anne Boleyn stalking Catherine of Aragon on Facebook in the afterlife. Another example is the day I found out my previous position was being eliminated, I treated myself to Shake Shack afterwards. Don’t let the negative vibe ruin your day — crush it and spit it out with a more positive one that makes the day even better. So what’s the moral here? See the light in the strangest of places and turn that frown upside down.

1.) Let go of fear

This is the thing which holds has back the most. When we unleash this emotion, our worst case scenarios run amok throughout our minds. We don’t want to see the light because we fear it can’t come out; we refuse to feel better because we fear good and feel like we deserve only the worst. But you can’t be afraid all the time — it doesn’t help, only adding more negativity and bad vibes to the given situation present. If you don’t let go of fear, you become a self fulfilling prophecy, and that’s bad. As someone who dealt with a once confident and mature person going down the worst road imaginable because he was so afraid, insecure, and didn’t know how to let those emotions out, I change vouch this cycle being not just toxic, but heartbreaking, for your loved ones, too.

So what can you do? If you’re afraid, you’re afraid, but communicate your fears and find means/outlets to control them. Paint, write, surf, draw, go for a walk. Maybe just eating a burger or going for a sightseeing drive will do the trick. The key is putting yourself and your mind at ease without going crazy. Plus, you never know how far you’ll go until you’re pushed outside of your comfort zone in certain situations. He didn’t want to travel? Well now you lost that excuse to go with your best friend on that trip to Europe. She hated the city that you loved and always wanted to indulge? Well now you can go there. Know what, screw it, you might as well move and get a job there. Most of all, think you couldn’t succeed without this person, job, house, car, etc., and see how far you’ve come since being without them.

And if you’re afraid you’ll never see him/her/it or be back there ever again? God, the universe, whatever you want to call it works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, its for the best, but others just for a little while. Never say never. Till next time, nameste 🙂


Una vita alla traccia

Una vita alla traccia — a life

to trace, born and bred of this

the human race, and for all to see, to

hear, to grin, to bear, to rise high and

fall so low, there are tales to be told

of those who kept the most precious

gift — they never lost hope.